We were going upstairs.
I was ahead of OH, but we were both struggling with fatigue after a long day doing not very much at all1
Me: ‘Aaaaagghhh! I’m sure there are five more stairs here today. Who’s been adding steps to our staircase?’
OH: ‘I dunno!’
We made it to the top and he paused.
OH: ‘Can you count?’
Me: ‘You want me to count? Why? What do you want me to count?’
OH: ‘Oh, nothing … I just wondered, because I’m sure it was more than five!’
We are in our early sixties. I’m sure we shouldn’t be feeling like this all the time. Perhaps it’s because we’ve been ill for so long, on and off, with this fluey bug thing we picked up back in November? And I do know that interrupted sleep can really do a number on you, and we both wake far too many times in the night …
I know early sixties isn’t old, as such, but we feel it. OH has various disorders, including Type 2 diabetes (though he doesn’t really accept that he’s any more than ‘borderline’) and now has a trapped nerve in his shoulder which is causing his hand to go numb, which means he drops things. I have various disorders, including fibromyalgia, and a cough which has persisted for months. Neither of us has any energy. So we are off to another round of ‘further investigations’; he for physio and an appointment with a orthopaedic consultant, and I for a chest x-ray (for starters). Oh, deep joy.
We know people of around our own age – and some older than us – who do exciting things like cycling around Peru, or climbing mountains, etc. And we want to know how they do it! To me, these days, cooking dinner is an achievement, and I have a huge dog bed in the bath which is waiting to be rinsed because I got halfway through washing it and my neck and shoulders seized up.
Is this the Winter Blues, do you think? I mean, we both did quite a lot of walking – stairs and everything – when we were in Italy last year, and an envelope through the door yesterday reminded me of a day-long dog show trade stand I usually manage to pull off (with help from OH, of course), and which they’d like me to do again this year. Anyway, I don’t feel depressed. Just old and creaky.
I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to ask when was the last time I used that treadmill, aren’t you? And I’m going to say ‘I can’t remember, but at the moment it’s covered in boxes which I tossed up there when I was tidying up for Christmas’ and then you’re going to say ‘Well, there you are, then!’ in that way that people do, and you’d be right. So let’s take that as read.
Tomorrow morning, I promise. I will at least get those boxes sorted and dust it off, okay?
And then, we’ll see…
1 But which felt like a long day doing a heck of a lot of things on account of the fact that we’ve both been unwell for so long. We’d walked the dogs and been shopping, and made cups of tea, stuff like that.