We are both still suffering with this Hideous Virus, so we are languishing at home, apart from the odd shopping trip and unavoidable outings like walking the dogs and so on. You’d think, perhaps, that conversation would flag. You’d be wrong.
Coming out of Morriways the other day with a laden trolley, OH pushing for a change, the following took place:
Me (rushing forward a few paces, but a little too late to stop a large pack of Cushelle plummeting to the ground): ‘Aargh! Wait, wait!’
OH (looking at me sternly as if it were my fault): ‘Those toilet rolls are Errant!’
Me: Ahahahahahahahahahaha!’
OH: What?
Me: Errant! Errant toilet rolls!’
OH: Well … well … well, it’s a good word! That’s twice they’ve tried to throw themselves off the trolley!’
And it’s true. There are some things that, no matter how carefully you balance them atop your carefully stacked trolley, will always unbalance themselves and try to get lost, or trip someone up. I wondered briefly what would happen if I took them back inside and tried to exchange them for a better-behaved pack, citing OH’s complaint about their willful nature. I decided against it on the basis that we’ll probably want to shop there again in the not-too-distant future.
We got them home without further mishaps and I’ve shut them in the spare room, but a part of me still wonders if, next time I look, they’ll have climbed the bookshelf or be found nestling cosily among the empty cardboard boxes and padded envelopes in the ‘Might Come In Handy To Post Things In’ pile. Or perhaps I’ll meet them halfway down the stairs in the middle of the night.
Maybe that’s why public toilets have theirs locked into special toilet roll prisons and attached securely to the walls. They’re fed up with the damn things throwing themselves to the floor and going off for a wander.
I suspect it was a desperate suicide attempt. They were so frustrated at being boring, functional, filth-attracting toilet rolls rather than fragrant, visually interesting pot pourris that they wanted to end it all. Unfortunately their attempt came to nothing but they’re now planning to try again as soon as you’re not looking.
Hahaha! You’re probably right. They just need to accept their fate, don’t they, desperately sad though it is. After all, it’s their destiny. None of us can change who we are, huh?
The koala has clearly been taking lessons from Kenny the kangaroo-garoo-garoo & will go boingy boingy boing all over Linc-alia
Rita – Hahahaha! You don’t change, do you? I do love you.
You’re right, of course. Only see how he’s planning to boingy boingy boingy down the stairs!
Jay. I can’t find your feed? How will I keep up with your posts, without you being in my feed reader? Help!
Hi Babs! Well, I’m afraid I have to wait for OH on that one. He has the skills to add stuff like RSS, but it is on his list. I’ll remind him again. Lovely to see you in here, and I don’t want to lose you! 🙂
I’ll keep my eye out on Facebook, but often miss stuff and I NEVER use my own blog for links lol.
I’d be very careful when it comes time to put them to their intended use. It’s possible that by that time they could have become testy with their frustration. Maybe even ready to resort to violence. Picture it.
Ha – yes!! I am now imagining being found wrapped like a mummy on the bathroom floor. Still, it’d be nice and warm, I should think. The weather here is so cold!
Hilarious post, Jay! And I loved this…
“Maybe that’s why public toilets have theirs locked into special toilet roll prisons and attached securely to the walls. ”
HA! This so true!!!!!
What I find frustrating is when I go to the produce section of the grocery store and buy apples. I inevitably will take one apple off the shelf, yet a TON of them will topple down like an avalanche onto the floor. Oh, how embarrassing!
Love your new blog, my friend!
Oh yes, I know that scenario, too! One has to be very careful with apples, but it can also happen with pears (very unpredictable things, pears), oranges, lemons and potatoes.
All better than glass jars though. I went to take one off the shelf about a week ago and someone had replaced one so precariously that even though it wasn’t very near to mine, that one fell off and shattered. Now that’s embarrassing!
Clean up in Aisle 6!
Runaway toilet rolls? Sounds like a horror movie! Hope you and OH are feeling better!
Sadly not, Rob. I’m beginning to think it’s some kind of germ warfare, weakening us all for an invasion … Perhaps even the Invasion of the Vengeful Toilet Rolls.
Thanks for the morning laugh! It would be quite creepy to come across those rolls in the middle of the night.
They are firmly shut in so I hope they can’t escape! If they did .. I wonder if the dogs would defend me against rampaging Cushelle?